margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
