normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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