i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize