she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
