Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
