i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
