Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
P.S. I can't hear my feet
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
