I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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