is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
