remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
