thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize