I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Houston, we have a blender
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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