is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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