We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize