The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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