Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
