I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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