If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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