did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Randomize
