i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
