The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
