I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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