Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
