he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
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I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
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I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
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