Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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