She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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