I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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