fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
