Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
