I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
