I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
