I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
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