We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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