can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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