Michael Bay diarrhea
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Randomize
