Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
