I want to stick my p in your. b.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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