is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Randomize
