I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
