he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
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