I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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