So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
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