I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
