Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
i think we sleep fucked last night...
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
