I seem to have left my pride at pride
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
