sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
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i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
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i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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