if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
