My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize