I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
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so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
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Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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