toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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