you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
