you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
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