on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize