I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
