Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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