my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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