bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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