he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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